Day 7 – The Drive
With all of us pumped about hitting the waterpark,(Dave and Mikey were pumped about going to a reptile and puppy store) we finally started the inevitable trek 20 hours to Tacoma, Washington from Denver, Colorado. There was a whole lot of sleeping involved. I was poked awake with all kinds of ‘JP’ acronyms like “Jesus Petunia”. This was Dave’s way of asking me to drive, so I took a No-Doz and got behind the wheel. When I started driving we were in Utah. I drove through Idaho into Oregon. Man, the view this coast has to offer destroys the east coast landscape without a doubt. Being from Florida I barely ever see mountains, so traveling down an extremely steep winding road was pretty intimidating at first. Skipping ahead, we finally got to the Seattle area. Man, what a beautiful place.
Day 8 – Tacoma, Washington
Getting out of the van after this drive felt like I was entering a parallel universe. My legs barely worked and my head was spinning. We went into downtown Seattle, and we all got to hear the rants about how weak willed people from this city were. We got to that Pike Market place. It ruled. Dave, Klint, and I got retardedly large vegan cookies. I got a snickerdoodle and it tasted like heaven. After poking fun at those less fortunate, we took the drive to the venue. The place was called the Viaduct, a newer venue that hardcore shows have been going down at. The place is pretty cool and the dudes who run it seem legit. After the show I met this dude Mike from Furious Styles, dude is seriously hilarious. He told us where we could get a pair of nice house shoes. He also explained that people with face tattoo’s that can’t get jobs are simply retards that couldn’t get one without them. A good philosophy if you ask me.
Getting out of the van after this drive felt like I was entering a parallel universe. My legs barely worked and my head was spinning. We went into downtown Seattle, and we all got to hear the rants about how weak willed people from this city were. We got to that Pike Market place. It ruled. Dave, Klint, and I got retardedly large vegan cookies. I got a snickerdoodle and it tasted like heaven. After poking fun at those less fortunate, we took the drive to the venue. The place was called the Viaduct, a newer venue that hardcore shows have been going down at. The place is pretty cool and the dudes who run it seem legit. After the show I met this dude Mike from Furious Styles, dude is seriously hilarious. He told us where we could get a pair of nice house shoes. He also explained that people with face tattoo’s that can’t get jobs are simply retards that couldn’t get one without them. A good philosophy if you ask me.
Day 9 – Spokane, Washington
Upon arriving to the venue, Jackie and I realize there is wireless In
ternet. Goodbye social skills. Throughout the entire show I stayed in the room where merch was and had chats with the locals (one of which let me know he enjoyed this blog. Big ups to that dude). Rifkin (playing drums for Letdown on this tour) kept ranting about this homeless guy who claimed he invented The Matrix. The show was extremely short so we decided to drive to Portland over night. On the way to get some food a couple dudes in a Jeep stopped next to us at a light. Here’s Klint with the play by play:
We pull up next to them, and the highschool bro in the passenger’s seat says “Hey, what’s up?” My natural response is, “Fuck you, I’m eating.” He’s appalled, but I repeat, “Carl’s Jr. Fuck you, I’m eating.” He asks where we’re going, and I say Del Taco. He invites us to Subway and demands that we race. Dave starts driving like an absolute maniac, and the race is on. We absolutely crush them with rallye-inspired aggressive driving and a barrage of “Suck it, nerds!”
After the race is over, I proceed to give them the goat. For the uninitiated, if you grab your dick and balls, pull them behnind you, then pinch your legs together and moon someone, that’s the goat. They speed off, and we keep chasing after them. More asses, more yelling. One of them comes out of their sunroof to moon us, and I tell them that some old lady is calling the cops on them. They speed off and exit the freeway never to be seen again.
Fuck them. And there was no Del Taco, anyway. They turned it into a fucking Taco Time.
We settled for Carls Jr. and Green Burrito. Man, that place is absolute shit. Anyways, after eating we started the trek to Portland, Oregon.
We pull up next to them, and the highschool bro in the passenger’s seat says “Hey, what’s up?” My natural response is, “Fuck you, I’m eating.” He’s appalled, but I repeat, “Carl’s Jr. Fuck you, I’m eating.” He asks where we’re going, and I say Del Taco. He invites us to Subway and demands that we race. Dave starts driving like an absolute maniac, and the race is on. We absolutely crush them with rallye-inspired aggressive driving and a barrage of “Suck it, nerds!”
After the race is over, I proceed to give them the goat. For the uninitiated, if you grab your dick and balls, pull them behnind you, then pinch your legs together and moon someone, that’s the goat. They speed off, and we keep chasing after them. More asses, more yelling. One of them comes out of their sunroof to moon us, and I tell them that some old lady is calling the cops on them. They speed off and exit the freeway never to be seen again.
Fuck them. And there was no Del Taco, anyway. They turned it into a fucking Taco Time.
We settled for Carls Jr. and Green Burrito. Man, that place is absolute shit. Anyways, after eating we started the trek to Portland, Oregon.
No comments:
Post a Comment